You have to read this!!!!!! ROFLMFAO Good!!!!

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You have to read this!!!!!! ROFLMFAO Good!!!!

Post  SammyD on Fri 26 Oct - 19:07

Something to do for the week end....





Riding the ANACONDA

I am a father. So, sometimes I need to do stuff that fathers do. In theold days, it was marbles and tolle and ketties.
Things have changed.

So, two weeks ago, the f%*#cking bright sparks across the road here, whispered the words "GOLD REEF CITY" into my laaities ears, and what can you do?
You go to GRC.

Ok, so I checked the website... nananana, looks like piss, hier en daar 'n fokken ride or two, and I wanted to go down the mine.
So ek trek my plakkies aan, kam my hare, and off we go.

We got there early. Ek kap manhaftig twee worsrolletjie weg, en n half liter melk, and followed my son to the first ride... called Runaway Train.

We get on, and I thought these things were for kids and stuff, and off itwent. I did not like it.
It was going sideways and shit, and I was queasy when I got off.

What bothered me though was the sound coming from behind me somewhere.
Dit klink soos n fokken boeing wat land. And then I saw it.
Big sign writing... ANAFOKKENCONDA.

I had to keep face, I wear the pants in this family. Ek maak my arms bak,
en ek loop fier en regop teen die dekplank op. Ek gaan die donner ry, what can go wrong?

There was a queue and the f%*#ck up with that is, you can see what the thing does to people.

When it came in the second time, and a young student dude, met spiere waar ek voue het, got out, and kots oor die reling, toe weet ek, my kak is uitgeknip vir my.

Then it was our turn. Jono chickened out, BUT my wife was checking me out.
This is where you have to be nonchalant, and manly. I kept my chin up, en my hol toegeknyp.

You get into this thing, and you hang. The safety bar didn't want to go over my hoender borsie, so I pulled a Ville Valo, and made myself thin, and hooked a clip too close.... I think.

KLANG KLANG KLANG KLANG.... en kom ons fok nie rond nie.... skielik is ek so bang dat ek n bliksemse nier aanval kry..... dan draai die etterse ding en dan......P@$S HY NA BENEDE....MET DIE SPOED VAN DIE HEILIGE FOKKEN WITELAND.

I shit you not, forget any car, bike, plane or whatever the f%*#ck you measure your manliness by.... it accelerated like nothing I have ever felt.
But if this wasn't enough, gaan donner die ding onderstebo met jou. I feel the worsrolletjie. No wait, I feel the texture of the worsrolletjie, every f%*#cking fibre of the worsrolletjie.

Kerels, we came out that first loop met die spoed van fokken wit lig. I wanted it to stop. I haven't prayed in 22 years....I did then. We leveled out, and then it hit the second loop. Shorter radius than the first. Ons fok daardeur, en ek verloor my plakkie.
Onderstebo, and then around 2 flat corners waar ek 10 jaar ouer word, and then.... the f%*#cking thing corkscrewed.
Klits daai fokken broodjie en die melk laat dit lyk soos daai kak wat jy oor bobotie gooi, and another, en fok dit, toe skree ek soos n Namibiese vlakte vlermuis wat se sonar gekak het.

And into the station at 200km/h, and just for shits and giggles, they stop it in 10m flat.

I just sat there. Stunned, and my wife is oooh and aaaahing, en lets-go-againing.... sy moet haar jags hou.

It f%*#cked my whole day up.


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SammyD
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Re: You have to read this!!!!!! ROFLMFAO Good!!!!

Post  skillz on Sat 27 Oct - 2:37

I laughed so much that even tears came out my eys!!!!

Lol!!!! Kak funny!!!

Thanks for the good laugh Sam!!!!
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skillz
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